Saturday, January 9, 2010

Back after an extended absence...

Well, I happened to go in to the blog link and read some of the old posts. They made me feel happy. Sometime after that last post, I got too serious and lost some of my capacity for joy. BIG MISTAKE. That is so contrary to my personal goal in starting blogging and embarking on my Sock Monkey adventure. I wanted to wander and explore and drift through the trivial and the moment, rather than my usual tank armor rolling through obstacles and trying to change the world (or at least my immediate perimeter). Some sad things happened. Baby Nico, who I made a monkey for, died. I wonder if anyone remembers the old Suburbs song with the line, "Spring came. The baby died. There must be someone to blame." This is just a very hard part of life. I mourn Nico, but I especially am sad watching his parents and sister moving through their mourning. I am so helpless to ease anything of their burden. And yet, they have the grace, which I think they find in their faith, to keep moving and keep working.

And then one of my own sons has been battling this whole time through health problem after health problem. Again, I feel helpless. Though that hasn't stopped my husband and I from trying to Google our way into a medical degree (not that we're actually going for the degree; we just have the compulsive need to double-check and direct the doctors. As dysfunctional as that sounds, it has proved sadly necessary to helping our son. But that's another story).

And, well, I worked too hard and too long during this period at my work-work. There were some good results, and some learning, and some creativity. But rather than finding the creative/playful side while working, I turned a lot of essentially creative work into a chore.

So, there you have it. I have used this serindipitous (spelling?) moment to renew my committment to continuing on the sock monkey journey. I actually had 3 more fun projects I did after I stopped blogging, so my first task will be to blog about each of those. But before then, I need to finish some responsibilities and obligations still left on my big plate of OverWhelmDuJour. Just writing this is giving me the strength to get through those and look forward to future sock monkey-making adventures!